Experience has taught me that release and letting go are the keys to success, happiness and peaceful living. Control really has no place in a successful team – or family. This realization actually became the catalyst for business growth and personal development.

For many years, I believed I had been working toward this idea of success through my words and actions as a leader.  However, I now realize I had continued to hold on to a controlling mindset that lacked trust and appreciation for each person on our team. Although I believed they were all really trying, they all failed on some level to submit to what I now understand was a gentle and subtle manipulation – my need to get them to buy into my mindset, my goals, and my way of thinking.

At times, I would resort to control and enforcement. I become reactive – strong-arming and using positional authority to get staff members into line.  I tried to justify my thoughts and actions; “It must be done.”  After, I felt even worse; and I could see the damage and the bitterness that resulted between myself and my staff.

Of course, this kind of management style was not conducive to team building.Slowly, I began to understand that this leadership style was not sustainable. Something had to change. It was evident to them and to me that I was unable to fully trust my staff.  This micro-managing leadership further fueled the fire of control and emotional bondage that I alone cultivated.  This burden was much too heavy to carry long-term. It is not sustainable and leads to exhaustion, discontentment and ultimately, failure.


  • Are you holding your team back, and by extension, holding your business back?
  • Do you lack trust in your team?
  • Do you feel exhausted as a leader and see your people as the problem?
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